I need your help

Hi Mum,

It’s been a while since I’ve asked for your help but I really could do with talking to you.

For a while now Grandma has been forgetting the odd things when I visit her but I’ve put it down to her age.

A few weeks ago she started stressing about not remembering yours or her own birthdays and about your upbringing and that she didn’t treat you very well.

This has been an ongoing conversation for a while, even though I have written the birthdays  down for her.

Then a couple of weeks ago she couldn’t remember your name, which took me a bit by surprise.

Last Wednesday I went to see her and she was asking me if you are still alive, how old you were when you died and then again asking me your name.

I went to see her today with Mike and the girls and for a part of the visit she didn’t seem to know who I was.

She thought it was a coincidence that my Mum’s name was Jenny the same as her daughter. When I explained that you were the same person she replied with ‘oh I wondered what the connection was with you’.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do Mum.

She seems to have gone downhill really quickly.

I’m not sure how I’m going to cope if she forgets who I am.

Partly because she’s my Grandma and I don’t want to see it happen but also because she’s my connection to you.

If it’s time for her to go, which will be heartbreaking when it comes, I would rather it just happened.

We had to see you deteriorate over a period of time, surely I’m not going to have to go through it with Grandma as well?

The home have been great about it and they are going to keep an eye on her so we’ll see what happens.

I so wish you were here for me to ring.

The other part of yesterday was our first Sunday in ages that was just the 5 of us.

Our girls had Jiu Jitsu in the morning, then we took them bowling in the afternoon and out for tea at Beefeater, it was a lovely afternoon.

   
   
Thanks for listening Mum.

Love

Me x

I miss you Mum

Hi Mum,

I’ve just been watching Valentine’s Day.

The last time I watched it was with you.

I wish you were here now so I could ask you what you thought again.

I read Desiderata today for the first time in a while, so I thought I would write it to you:

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible, without surrender, 

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious

to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter, for always

there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

©1927 Max Ehrmann (renewed) Bell & Son publishing, LLC

I love you Mum

Love

Me xxx

I’m sorry

Hi Mummy darling,

Wow, so this is my longest yet without writing to you.

It has all been SO crazy, it seems to have been this way for so long.

We have been on our holiday so I had to sort out everything for work before I went.

We had such a lovely holiday Mum.

We stayed in the airport hotel the night before which the girls loved

   
   
We flew the next morning at 08:25. I sat between Mads and Abs who grabbed my hands for take off but after that didn’t care 😃.

We arrived in time to have some lunch and then relaxed and unpacked.

   
    
   
The next morning we went to the beach, a beautiful cove about a 5 minute walk from our villa.

It was beautiful but SO hot.

   
    
    
 
We spent Thursday afternoon and Friday day by the pool. The girls just loved swimming.

   
   
On Saturday morning there were thunderstorms and it was cloudy so we took advantage of it being a bit cooler and went to hire a bike, play crazy golf and have a walk around the harbour. 

    
    
    
    
    
    
    
 
The Sunday we spent at the pool by our villa and Chloe and Madison had a try at ‘walking on water’.

Chloe did really well but Madison didn’t like it so much.

   
    
    
    
    
 
On the Monday we took our girls to a water park called Aqua Rock.

They absolutely loved going down the flumes and swimming. Abigail fell asleep on a sun bed whilst waiting to have more sun cream put on 😄.

   
    
    
    
    
    
    
 
For our last day we stayed by the pool, our girls just swam and swam and swam.

   
    
    
    
 
In the evening we went down to the harbour for a walk and had a horse and cart ride back up to the villa.

   
   
It was such a lovely holiday Mum x

We are now planning my 40th birthday party and Dan is on holiday so I am covering everything at work. There is so much going on at the moment 😃.

We have got some new garden furniture Mum, you would love it.

  
I have sat out on it as much as I can 😃.

I promise I will write again soon Mum.

Missing you terribly at the moment.

Lots of ‘firsts’ happening that I don’t have you here for.

Love you Mum

Love

Me xxx