😮🎶🎉🎈
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,
haaapppyyy bbbiiiirrrrttthhhdddaayyy dear Mmmuuuummmmmmm/Gggggggrrrrrraaaaaannnnnndddddmmmmmaaaaaa,
hhaaaappppyyyy bbbiiirrrrtthhhdddaayyy ttttoooo yyyyooooouuuu🎈🎉🎶😮 xxx
I miss you so very much Mum
And the girls and Mike.
All my love
Pen xxx
Hi Mummy Darling,
How are you?
We had the Ashford Twins Club Halloween party last Sunday, it was good fun.
Dad came on his own, which must’ve been very strange for him and it was all strange not having you here. The party was in a new hall which I think made it a bit easier.
I still did my bit helping out, you know us Mum, we have to do be part of it.
Dad wants us to meet his new lady, I still feel so mixed about it but as he’s now not moving in until we meet her, the pressure feels more than it was before.
It’s half term this week so I’m off with the girls, it will be lovely to spend some time with them.
We’ve also got our annual trip to Centreparcs this week. I’m looking forward to having a break but I’m dreading being there without you.
We’re going to the new one at Woburn which I think will make it a bit easier but it doesn’t matter which one we go to, it’s still without you!
I love and miss you Mum.
Love
Me
Xxx
Hi Mummy darling,
How are you?
I did it! I ran 13.1 miles and raised an amazing £370 for the hospital.
I so wish you could’ve been there. I kept trying to convince myself you would be at the finish line if I kept running 😃.
I ran virtually all the way and finished the run in 2 hours 31 minutes, I’m really pleased.
Vics is amazing, she finished in 2 hours 2 minutes, amazing!
Life’s quite difficult with Dad at the moment, this new lady seems to have quite a hold but I just don’t know what’s true anymore.
He has implied that he’s getting married tomorrow, I don’t really know what to make of it.
It explains why he’s gone on about having another family but I just don’t know what to make of it.
Part of me is sad that life has changed and moved on for him so much but part of me is pleased for him if he’s happy.
I just don’t know if I’m ready Mum, I don’t know if I will ever be ready.
I miss you so much at the moment, life used to be so much easier when you were here.
I just don’t know how I’m meant to cope with things, especially Dad and then his relationship with me and my siblings.
Any help you can give would be appreciated.
My girls and husband are just the most amazing on going support, you would be so proud of them all Mum x
Love you so much Mum
Love
Me
Xxx
Hi Mummy Darling,
How are you? I hope you are sleeping well x
Life has been interesting and challenging recently.
I have started to have times of genuine happiness again which I know you would want but I feel guilty at the same time.
I still love and miss you so much but it is nice to not feel so overwhelmingly sad ALL the time.
It’s been challenging with Dad recently Mum. I am genuinely pleased if he has found happiness, as I’m sure you would be.
I just don’t know how to make sure we don’t lose him to the other family.
I don’t know whether I’m ready to see anybody else standing and being where you should be.
How about…. You just come back?!? Have a think about it 😊.
Work has been quite hard recently but I think some of it was me thinking I was coping at home when really things were too much.
Much better this week, I’ve got a new attitude on and it’s a better week.
It’s your birthday soon, oh how you loved that day, NOT 😃.
We’re not doing anything too elaborate, a cup of tea, piece of cake and the girls are going to send up balloons to you when the stars are out.
I miss you every day Mum, I still find it hard to accept that you are gone x
You are always in my heart x
Mike sends his love and says his feet need seeing to hee hee.
Write soon.
All my love
Pen xxx
Hi Mummy Darling,
How are you?
It’s all been a bit crazy round here.
I don’t seem to stop and it’s felt that way since you went to sleep. I keep thinking that when I was with you was when I felt like I stopped for a while.
You would make me a cup of tea and let me just sit whilst you played with the girls. You would take the girls on a sat avo and let me have a break.
The crazy thing is I have Fridays now but I am yet to have a Friday where I am not doing anything!
Maybe I do it on purpose so I don’t have time to acknowledge you are not here but I just seem to be tired all the time.
Work is just constant at the moment, SO much to do. I’m not at the point of crying over breakfast every day but I promise you if I get to that point things will change.
I could do with your help with Dad. It’s great he’s met someone (I’m thinking you would agree with that). It’s just the whole story, I’m not sure what’s the truth now…..
I hope her family like him when they meet him this morning but I just feel so mixed.
At times I think just meet her and get the initial meeting done. I don’t want to not see Dad because we haven’t met her, if you know what I mean.
Another part of me thinks I can’t do it as it’s another thing to confirm Mum’s not here anymore.
Another part thinks I just can’t do it yet. I just keep going round in circles.
I suggested to Dad he tells each of us and says he would like us to meet her and then leave it up to us when it happens.
Training is going well for the half marathon, I looked at the route though and the last 2 miles is called ‘the hill’! I know I’ll make it round but it’s not going to be easy 😁.
We’ve got Peter Andre at the Royal Albert Hall tomorrow, it’s going to be strange going back but we’re getting the train hee hee 😄.
My girls are just beautiful Mum, they’ve all grown up so much since school started.
Mike’s in Butlins at the moment and he’s staying until Monday. I think it’s good for him to have a break and I am loving some time with my girls, it feels like I barely see them now.
We’re seeing the Grundys today which I’m very excited about, it feels like I haven’t seen them for ages.
Anyway, enough waffling on for today.
I miss being able to call you Mum xxx
Sending you lots of love
Love
Pen xxx
Ladypitstop's Life 