Hi Mummy Darling,
So, it’s the last day of the last year that I will see or speak to you.
I have to leave you in 2014 and move into 2015, a year you have not seen or been part of.
I am finding it really hard but life has to go on and I have my beautiful family around me.
All of which I wouldn’t have without you, without you showing me how to be the Mum I am today. Whether that was through your amazing guidance or through your mistakes. As I now go on learning without you and making my own mistakes.
I know you will be pleased to hear that Christmas for us was better than I was expecting it to be.
Christmas Day with the Vaughans was lovely. It was just us and them until the afternoon.
Chloe had a mini meltdown at midnight as she was worried she was going to be on the naughty list and Santa wasn’t going to give her any presents.
Of course she hadn’t been naughty enough for that to be the case, but I do think it was testiment to her behaviour before Christmas for her to even be worried.
We played games, slept and had a lovely Christmas dinner, with the Smiths and the Johnsons arriving later in the day.
The girls loved their bunk beds Mum, they are taking turns sleeping on the top bunk at the moment.
We got up early on Boxing Day and went to Birmingham to see everybody up there.
Beth did a really good job of making a Christmas of new traditions,
Once Mike had made bubble and squeak for everyone we went for our family game of rounders in the park, it was good fun.
We came back and Beth (with help), cooked us a lovely lunch and the girls played together.
Later in the afternoon, Beth had had a lovely idea of planting a tree for you, that we then tie our wishes for 2015 to it so you can help us to make them come true.
Mike and Si went out to dig the hole for the tree and we were writing our wishes as it started to snow. Beth, Si, Vics, Dad and Mike and I went out to hang them on the tree whilst the children and Richard watched out of the dining room window.
The biggest snow flakes were falling as we hung each on the tree. All of the wishes are lovely, but Chloe’s first wish is for you to still be here. Bless her, I/we can’t make that one come true x
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We stayed in Birmingham for the Saturday, saying goodbye to the Pestridges and Dad in the morning. We then walked up for tea and cupcake at Fallen Angel before taking the girls to Cadbury World. They loved it.
We drove home early Sunday morning, with the most beautiful sunrise and back to my exceedingly chaotic house, full of presents and bits of wood from the beds.
I have spent the last few days tidying my house to how I like it but I’m getting there.
As you can see, we had a very busy Christmas which was family-filled but with a very large Mum shaped hole.
I am gutted to be leaving 2014 but at the same time I’m not.
You suffered so much Mum from the beginning of the year, it was just not fair, that I am pleased you are not suffering like that any more.
To have you still here, I of course would like the well and healthy you who did everything you could for your family.
I love you very much Mum.
Happy new year.
All my love
Pen xxx
Ladypitstop's Life 