Hi Mummy Darling,
How are you?
I can’t believe our 10 year wedding anniversary is here and you aren’t x
I’m missing you terribly at the moment Mum and I’m yet to find someone to be my support without you. (Excluding Mike of course, but sometimes I need to talk about him 😊).
Love you Mum
Love
Me xxx
Hi my dear Mum,
How are you?
Everything still seems to be moving at 100 miles per hour the whole time.
11th November was a difficult day. I know the focus was meant to be on those lost in the war and I did have thoughts for them but for me, it was your fight starting 3 years before on that day and the loss of you now.
There’s been a lot to get through recently without you.
Mike had a heart scan in London last Friday to see whether there have been any changes but no news so far, which is good.
After a lot of heartache over Dad and a new lady, I agreed to meet her, Vics and Beth really struggled and then Dad turns up and says it’s over anyway! Maybe next time Dad will think about being a Dad first and put the needs of his children before his own…..we’ll see.
The girls all had parties last weekend, I know that’s how it’s going to be now! They’ve got more this weekend as well 😁.
I’m taking Grandma shopping tomorrow, should be interesting 😄, she wants new bras Mum, I’ve got to take her to be measured.
She won’t let me wash her clothes but I don’t see the point in falling out with her over it, it’s her choice.
I just like things clean, you know me hee hee.
I had my counselling this week for the first time in 7 weeks!
We were talking about how I feel like everything constantly moves at a really fast pace and I am always trying to catch up.
I know I have always been busy but it seems worse since i lost you.
My session was really helpful, I talked about how much I miss you and how much I am still struggling with losing you.
My counsellor was talking to me about a person going into panic mode when something happens to someone close to them and the fear of loss changes their coping mechanism.
She thinks I am still in panic mode, especially with Mike and his heart scan and that I am trying to do everything, which of course isn’t possible, which of course, leaves me in panic mode.
Basically, I need to ask for help more and tell people how I’m feeling.
Two things I’m really not good at!!
I just need to work on it and then maybe things won’t be so overwhelming all the time.
I think I used to talk to you about it all, without you, I’m not really talking to anyone….
I miss you terribly Mum and that seems to be growing with Christmas getting closer.
Speak soon
I love you
Love
Me xxx
Missing you terribly at the moment Mum.
I could do with a cup of tea and a chat.
I feel like I’m still just getting through each day without you.
I would love to feel completely happy again but I still can’t work out how to feel that way without you here.
I’m sure the build up to Christmas isn’t helping.
Madison keeps talking about you still, I think it’s her seeing the stars every day. My girls miss you too Mum.
Your guidance would be appreciated at the moment, feeling a bit lost x
Miss you Mum
Love you with all my heart
Love
Me xxx
Hi Mum,
So, we did Centreparcs without you…. I missed you terribly.
We all arrived on Friday and had some lunch before going to the villas.
Beth, Vics and I had manicures sand pedicures and Mike had a massage before we had a little Halloween party/birthday tea for you.
This of course included scones with jam and cream and cake before we let light up balloons go up to the stars for you.
Madison mentions you and the stars more than anybody else, bless her.
Saturday was packed full, we started the day with what I thought was going to be a party for Beth but was actually a surprise 10th wedding anniversary for Mike and I, it was really lovely.
We then did a treasure hunt on our bikes but my competitive eldest daughter and father wanted to win and the girls had had enough, so we took them on a pedalo whilst Mike, Chloe and Dad finished it.
After some lunch, Dad had a photography lesson, we took the girls swimming, Chloe and Mike went on the climbing wall before our usual visit to Hucks.
Most of the table, including my husband of course, had ribs in memory of you x
In the evening the boys went out, so I stayed at our villa, I really wished you could come and have a cup of tea with me x
Sunday was another busy day, the littlies had mucky pups first thing and we all met at 11 for pottery painting.
After lunch Vics and Rich and Beth and Si had dual treatments and then we went swimming again.
Sunday evening, Vics and Beth came to our villa and I watched Downton with them, it was ok, I was just a bit lost on some of it.
Monday, Dad left early. We all went swimming, had some lunch together and made our way home.
I went to see Grandma and came back to a very excited Madison who had seen a bright twinkling star which had to be you with your light up balloons 😃.
I am missing you so much at the moment my heart aches and it just gets closer to Christmas without you.
I still find it so hard to believe you are gone and not going to be here for all our events, let alone just for a cup of tea or a phone call.
Miss and love you so much Mum
Love
Me xxx
Ladypitstop's Life 