They’re 5 today Mum

Hi Mummy Darling,

So, the girls have turned 5! I can’t believe the last time they saw you they were 3.

It’s been a lovely weekend but I’ve  missed you terribly.

It’s harder this year. I think I was still in shock last year but this year it’s the knowing I’m not going to hear from you.

We’ve been so busy with Sissinghurst castle, night out in London, pyjama walk and bday parties.

They’ve been spoilt as always!

  
Mike’s done an amazing job on their playhouse, you would be so proud Mum

  
He really wishes you were here to see it. It’s amazing.

I so need to sleep so I’m going to go, I just wanted to write and say my heart hurts today.

I love you

Love

Me xxx

I need life to slow down a bit…

Hi Mum,

How are you?

I am moving through the days at 100 mph at the moment it feels like.

Some days there’s so much I find it hard to breathe.

We had the school fete last Saturday which has been weeks of planning, of course on top of work and Mike and our girls. 

I found it hard building up to the event (when I had time), knowing you aren’t here for it but honestly Mum, Dad was an absolute god send.

He helped set up in the morning and then dropped the girls at a bday party before collecting Sue from the station. Looked after Chloe and picked up the girls and stayed to help clear up.

It was like you sent him to do this so thank you Mum.

Just to let you know, Sue’s nice Mum. She’s nothing like you which probably isn’t a bad thing but she looks after the girls and more importantly Dad 😄.

It went really well though Mum and we raised £2,900 for the school. Not a bad start 😃.

Mike had his annual weekend in Butlins a couple of weekends ago so the girls and I went to Birmingham to see Team Mac.

It was really lovely to get away for a couple of days and spend some time with them.

The weather wasn’t great but we had lots of fun anyway and I took Mog her bench that Mike had built. It’s great Mum.

  
Coming up over the next few weeks is more craziness. 

This weekend I’ve got London Friday night with my team

twins club summer trip Sat day

pyjama walk Sat night

girls bday stuff Sunday

Girls’ bdays Monday

2 class assemblies next week

Twins first school disco

Tash’s hen do

Family picnic

Pretty Muddy

Race for life

Summer holidays….. Which means we’re off to Minorca, with 2 weddings in the same week!!!

How do I love like this, it’s crazy and I’m tired already.

Plus you have to add Grandma on top as nobody else goes to see her Mum. I don’t mind, it’s up to them but I just don’t get it.

I love her as Grandma but also she’s your Mum, she’s a part of you that’s still here.

Helping Grandma for me means I’m still doing my bit for you.

I know I think bad thoughts sometimes Mum but at times she is too much to cope with on top of everything else!

She’s good though Mum and she worries about me doing too much, I just wish you had got that side of her a bit more.

  
I took Chloe to the finals for the Kent Infant Aglity competition yesterday and Kingsnorth came 3rd, they did so well Mum.

   
     I’m always so proud of my girls, you would be too.

Mike’s building the girls a playhouse in the garden for their birthday. He’s really loving making things, thanks Mum for encouraging him x

I could just write and write and write as it feels like I’m actually talking to you when I write my blog, it’s so hard to make myself stop but I’ve got 2 girls awake and they’re going to wake Chloe if I don’t move them on.

I love and miss you so very much Mum.

You are in my thoughts SO many times, every day. 

Sending you lots of love.

Pen xxx

They’re nearly 5 Mum

Hi Mummy Darling,

How are you?

I can’t believe it’s nearly the girls’ 5th birthday, they are growing up so quickly.

It was so funny the other day, Mike and I asked them what they would like for their birthday.

Madison would like 2 more ducks out of a kinder egg and a red car.

Abigail would like chocolate cereal for breakfast and new school uniform haha.

They are so beautiful.

We went out with Tash and her girls to Leeds Castle last Saturday. We had such a lovely day.

Even though we were 6:2, it was all still relaxed and enjoyable and it was so lovely spending time with somebody who just completely understands what it’s like to have the girls and Chloe.

On Sunday we went for a walk at the Environmental centre. It always makes me think of you.

I treated the girls to a hot chocolate and cake as Chloe had won the semi finals of the Kent Infant Agility competition and is through to the final on 23rd June.

Abigail was invited for afternoon tea with Miss Pryke for being such a superstar in lower school.

Madison came home with Daisy Dormouse as she had been so good all week and did an amazing job at completing year 1 maths. Reminds me of Chloe :-D.

Mike and I went to Take That last Monday Mum, my 10 year wedding anniversary from Mike. It was just AMAZING.

Both getting to spend some quality time with my ever-superstar and supportive husband and getting to see Take That at touching distance!

We were right at the front, it was just great.

They did such a good show, I just danced, sang and cheered for how ever many hours :-D.

We’re off to Birmingham this weekend, I’m looking forward to seeing the McArdles, it’s been far too long.

I miss you Mum, I so wish you could be part of everything we are doing, thinking and planning.

I still struggle with forever. I found a comment with advice to somebody today and I thought it was very true.

‘I hope you have a day.

And then another day.

And even then another.

Eventually you’ll have OK days. And some time after that you’ll have better days, good days.

One day, maybe when you’re not expecting it, you’ll find that you’re having a great day.

You’ll cry less.

And the good days will outnumber the bad.’

Sending you all my love Mum.

Lots of love

Me xxx